A Feminist Wedding Ceremony with Oathing Stone and Glowsticks in Nottingham City Centre!
- Louise Gather
- Jul 21
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 3
The couple and their plans - a feminist wedding ceremony with oathing stone
Chris and Faye were keen to have a wedding which reflected their feminist views and only included elements that really meant something to them. Their venue doesn’t usually host weddings - it’s a cocktail bar and casual fine dining restaurant - but Faye and Chris hired out the whole place and really made it their own.
Neither of them had bridesmaids / best men / a wedding party, and they wanted to be around before the ceremony started so she could mingle and enjoy some of the excellent pre-ceremony canapes (pre-ceremony food and drink is always a good idea!). Faye entered the room to a soundtrack of 'Modern Love' by David Bowie, twirling around in her sparkly cape before spending half an hour or so greeting guests and preparing for the ceremony to start. The free bar was open for an hour or so before the ceremony started, so the guests were getting stuck in… as was I. A pre-ceremony margarita went down very well, and the canapes looked (and tasted) delicious.
The main room is windowless and separated from the bar by some heavy velvet curtains, which made it quite a dark and difficult space to photograph, but Lizzie (Shoot It Momma) took it all in her stride, and we set up the ceremony space in front of a big white neon of the couple’s new surname. Once we were ready to start, Faye and Chris disappeared through the curtains into the bar ahead of making a big grand re-entrance together. There was no formal seating - guests were just asked to find a space to stand where they could see, with a few chairs set up at the front for those who needed them. We played ‘Let’s get Married’ by The Proclaimers as people got assembled, and then Chris and Faye came through the curtains and made their way through the guests to take their place at the front, cocktails in hand.
The Kickass Ceremony
Now, a ceremony starting at 5pm and with standing guests who have been at the free bar for an hour already is bound to be lively… and it definitely was. The atmosphere was buzzing and guests weren’t afraid to get involved by laughing, clapping, cheering and heckling. And honestly? Give me that over people sitting in quiet appreciative silence any day, but I did have to call on some of my former secondary school teacher skills on occasion to bring things back into line.
The ceremony included a reading by two of Chris’s young nephews, which was called ‘We’re A Team’ and based on ‘You’ve Got A Friend In Me’ from Toy Story. They absolutely nailed it and delivered it perfectly. Faye’s friend Lauren also read an adapted version of ‘Smell the Love’ by Caitlin Moran which was an unusual choice but one I absolutely love. Not often you get a wedding reading which mentions love eggs and back sweat.
Chris, the groom, is Scottish, so they decided to say their vows with an oathing stone - an ancient Celtic wedding tradition, and the origin of the phrase to ‘set something in stone’. They’d had a stone specially made, engraved with their names and the dates, which they can keep forever knowing that it was held by the two of them as they made their vows in their wedding ceremony.
A Ceremony Snippet
“They’ve fostered several dogs through a charity, caring for pets displaced due to domestic violence. Bear, the French bulldog they fostered, was a big, slobbery, full-on tank of meat power. Which makes it quite weird that Faye described Bear as being just like Chris. She maintains that the reasoning is that he was a big, open-hearted chonkster and impossible not to warm to eventually. Not the slobber. Fostering Coco the mini dachs convinced them they should take the plunge and get another dog of their own. Along came Jessie from Belarus - another internet find, quickly renamed ‘Onion’. She’s got layers. They were advised that Onion would prefer not to be an only dog, so there was only one thing for it: adopting Daphne, the ex-breeding dog. Onion brings the fun; Daphne brings the cuddles and neuroses. Both are celebrating from home tonight, as it would be unfair to inflict these shenanigans on them… or to inflict their behaviour on all of you.”
A Sneak Peek at their vows
“I promise to support your dreams, your ambitions, and your need for that primo gym spot."
"I promise to be the husband you deserve—honest, happy, supportive, and always your biggest fan. I promise to dream with you, laugh with you, and build a future filled with adventures, love, and, of course, weekend curries.”
“When you are struggling, I will be tolerant and think through my expectations before imposing them on us. When you feel down, I will give you extra hugs."
"I can’t promise that I won’t ever stop invading your personal space and being a bother, but I do promise to do it less in public.”
Ceremony Continued...
After their vows they exchanged rings, and then guests were invited to join in with some group ‘we do’ vows (one of which was a promise not to rinse the free bar too quickly. Not sure that one was kept for long…!) To end, in lieu of confetti, they wanted to take advantage of the dark room by having a big group glow stick photo. We spent a few moments getting them distributed and then had a ceremonial cracking of glowsticks before the big pronouncement, a kiss, and posing for some epic pics. As there was no aisle and nowhere for them to do a big traditional ‘exit’ to, they chose instead to play Walk Of Life by Dire Straits before heading to the bar to continue the party!
They had plenty more fun and food planned for the rest of the night, as well as a caricaturist, and Lizzie took them wandering through the alleyways of Nottingham for some stunning portraits. I am sure the celebrations continued late into the night, and it was wonderful to be there at the start to kick things off in the appropriate manner with such a fun, informal and high-energy ceremony.
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